Purple everything?
by sez101
Summary: What happens when your world turns purple, then you do too?


"Carter why is the sky purple?" Colonel O'Neill asked stepping onto PTH 566, the purple sky gave everything a purple tint, the trees and flowers were all purple it was weird they all looked round taking in the sights

"Well Sir we think it is because of the particles present in the atmosphere, that's why we are here we are hoping that the reading of energy we picked up can be harvested in some kind of power source"

"Jack were you not listening in the briefing" Daniel asked giving Jack a pointed look

"Daniel do I ever listen in briefings I got the important parts" Jack told him annoyed

"Which were?" Daniel was determined not to let him off the hook.

"It's a 3 hour mission, no signs of civilisation" Jack retorted, Sam rolled her eyes checking the equipment to make sure they went in the right direction

"So which way do we go?" he asked

"West, it is where the concentrations are higher" she told him putting away her scanner

"Teal'c you are on point, I'll watch our 6" Teal'c lead they way, Sam following then Daniel, they were all looking around trying to take in the surroundings, after 10minutes of walking Sam stopped them,

"Sir this should be sufficient for me to take samples" She told him

"Ok Carter you do it" he ordered, Sam unclipped her bag and took out the case, then walked round taking samples and labelling them, the others sat around waiting as there wasn't a lot to do on this mission for them. Jack started to tell bad jokes

"Hey Daniel a man is shipwrecked on a desert island. When he wakes up, he sees the sky has turned purple. He looks around and notices that the palm trees are purple, as is the sea and the beach, too. Then he looks down at his clothes, hair and skin, and they are all purple. "Oh no," he exclaims. "I think I've been marooned.""

"Oh God Sam hurry his started telling jokes" Daniel yelled making death and choking noises.

"Sir I'm finished" Sam told him feeling sorry for Daniel

"Right let's go home people" Jack ordered they travelled the short distance back in silence all caught up in the beauty of the planet, Daniel dialled earth whilst Sam entered the GDO code,

"Sir we have the go ahead"

"Good Sg1 move out" Daniel was the first back to earth, his eyes took some adjusting finding everything was no longer varying shades of purple, he turned to watch the others come through, and was shocked by what he saw

"Guys you … you are all purple!" he said shocked mouth wide open catching flies

"Take a good look at yourself," Jack returned, before looking at his arms and other exposed skin

"Carter why are we doing a blackberry impression"

"I have on idea Sir" Sam was horrified she hated purple

"Major Carter I find myself distressed at my appearance, Jaffa were not made to be purple"

"Jack never tell anymore jokes about a man turning purple" Daniel said glaring at him

They heard a laugh from the control room, Walter was almost blue with trying not to laugh other technicians weren't doing so well, they took another look at themselves,

Jack was a light shade of purple nearing that of lavender, his hair was deeper darker more vibrant as a grape colour, his scowl scrunched up his purple face,

Daniel was a slightly lighter shade of purple when compared to Jack being more Allium; his hair was more lilac,

Teal'c was very deep dark shade of purple Agapanthus that went really well with the gold emblem on his forehead,

Sam was the palest shade of purple out of the lot and most near her normal colour although it was still a long way, her colour resembled forget-me-nots her hair cherry blossom purple,

They all looked miserable yet highly comical

"Hey Jack I thought Smurfs were blue not purple and Halloween isn't for ages yet" Ferretti yelled, Jack scowled a look that would had scared anyone else but Ferretti was use to it and smiled

"Come on lets see if Frasier can sort us out" he stalked off, barking at airman who jumped out the way, one airman in particular, Airman Smith saw him and ran off screaming that the purple monsters were invading, even Jack had smiled at that one, whilst Sam and Daniel had to stop and sit down there sides were hurting too much to continue, to be fair, Airman Smith had been transferred from a nice normal airbase, on his way to report to the General he saw 4 purple shapes come towards him, understandably he had run away screaming.

After they had recovered they carried on, Janet saw them and groaned indicating that they should all sit down on a bed,

"Great I'm so not getting my night off" she tiredly rubbed her eyes

"Ok Sg1 pick a bed I got a feeling we could be here some time" Sam went to the nearest one, Janet started with her.

"Did you eat anything unusual or touch anything?"

"I touch some of the plants through gloves none of the others did and nobody eat or drank anything, but there were purple particles in the atmosphere which may have caused this,"

"Right well let me just check, first bloods" Sam held out her purple arm Janet paused seeing darker lines of purple where the blood was flowing she dug the needle in, and watched in joint fascination as her purple blood trickled out.

"Wow if this only wasn't classified" Janet complained Sam shared the sympathetic smile all the scientists on base shared the same frustration of working with the incredible and not be able to tell anyone about it.

After Janet had finished with all of them they were allowed to go to their quarters and rest as apart from the obvious they were fine that was until the PA went off, they all groaned knowing that Hammond wasn't on base so wouldn't order it off, it appeared Airman Smith had run screaming so all the base knew,

**"Well I saw the thing comin' out of the sky**  
**It had the one long horn, one big eye.**  
**I commenced to shakin' and I said "ooh-eee"**  
**It looks like a purple people eater to me.**

**It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater.**  
**(one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater)**  
**A one-eyed one-horned, flyin' puple people eater**  
**Sure looks stange to me. (one eye?)**

**Well he came down to earth and lit in a tree**  
**I said Mr. Purple People Eater don't eat me**  
**I heard him say in a voice so gruff**  
**I wouldn't eat you cuz you're so tough**

** It was a one-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater**  
**one-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater**  
**one-eyed, one-horned flyin' purple people eater**  
**Sure looks strange to me. (one horn?)**

**I said Mr. Purple People Eater, what's your line**  
**He said it's eatin' purple people and it sure is fine**  
**But that's not the reason that I came to land**  
**I wanna get a job in a rock and roll band**

**Well bless my soul, rock and roll, flying purple**  
**people eater. Pidgeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin'**  
**purple people eater (we wear short shorts)**  
**Flyin' purple people eater**  
**sure looks strange to me.**

**And then he swung from the tree and lit on the**  
**ground. He started to rock, really rockin' around**  
**It was a crazy little ditty with a swingin' tune**  
**(sing aboop boop aboopa lopa lum bam boom)**

**Well, bless my soul, rock and roll**  
**flyin' purple people eater.**  
**Pigeon-toed, undergrowed, flyin' purple peopleeater.**  
**Flyin' little people eater**  
**Sure looks strange to me. (purple people?)**

**And then he went on his way, and then what do**  
**you know. I saw him last night on a TV show.**  
**He was blowing it out, a'really knockin' em dead**  
**Playin' rock and roll music through the horn in**  
**his head" **

**Jack groaned as the song looped, Maypeace was in charge for now**

**"Great," he moaned the others looked equally as annoyed then Ferretti caught up grinning,**

**"Jack I got a new one **what's green and purple and goes up and down?"

"Ferretti" he growled in a warning tone

"Barney in an elevator." He joked bursting out laughing stopping when he saw the blackness of fury ride across his face and swiftly running away,

Finally they made it to Teal'c quarters as his were the nearest, and all collapsed onto the bed or floor,

"Oh God how embarrassing" Sam complained, whilst Daniel went to answer the ringing phone after a short conversation he hung up,

"Do you want the good news or the bad news" he asked

"Good" Sam decided

"Janet is sure it will wear off" they all smiled glad it wasn't permanent,

"What's the bad?" Jack asked

"She isn't sure how long it will take" there faces fell as they thought of the consequences

"Janet thinks us turning purple is a consequence of breathing in the purple air ad something must have binded to the haemoglobin in our blood which turned us purple" he explained, they all looked relieved, Sam's stomach rumbled

"I guess we should eat" Jack decided eyeing the door uncomfortably not wanting to venture out there again,

"We go as a team" Sam decided

"Ok, Teal'c scary face you take point" Jack delegated, they stood behind him single file, marching to the mess hall,

"Hey Jack I got a new one" Ferretti announced

"Knock Knock" Jack decided to humour him

"Who's there?"

"Violet" Jack groaned he knew it,

"Violet who?"

"Violet the cat out the bag" Ferretti burst into laughter.

"Come on you have to admit that was good" he told them

"I don't know Ferretti I mean what you have had 30minutes now to think and this is what you have come up with" Jack told him shaking his head in mock disappointment,

"Well if you'd have told him me that you were going purple I'd have done better"

"Sorry I didn't let you know it won't happen again" He promised solemnly. Before they both burst out laughing, Sam and Daniel rolled there eyes, walking into the mess everyone went quiet looking at them, the chef ran over

"Ah Sg1 I made you favourite for you" he lead them to a nearby table, the sat down everything was purple, purple mash, purple jell-o, everything, it was clear he had made a lot of effort.

"Wow thanks" Sam said her expression betraying the statement as she tried to inject enthusiasm into her voice,

"Yeah looks purple" Daniel decided on the diplomatic route

"Indeed" Teal'c went for his usual quiet route, whereas Jack remained silent settling for a polite nod,

They finished quickly returning to Sam's quarters as hers were nearer to the mess, then tiredly they all drifted off to sleep, the next morning they woke to a joyful cry

"Sir, Daniel, Teal'c wake up, quick we are normal," Sam cried checking herself out, they did and seeing that each other looked normal fought Sam for the place in front of the mirror.

"Cool, so who want nice brown chocolate cake" Jack asked they all nodded deciding it sound good, they opened the door to see Ferretti

"Jack I got a new one. What do you call a purple person?" he looked at them dejectedly

"You're normal" his disappointment was evident

"Yes we are and it feels good"

Feedback, pleaseeeee

For the shades of purple I used follow the link

was written by Sheb Wooley and is called purple people eater and was #1 for 6 weeks in 1958. It has sold over 100 million copies to date


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